and i thought life had much more important stuff that to sit around all day scheduling way too movie-like scenes.
but i guess those dramas all had to get their inspiration from somewhere.
so i decided to spring clean, and came across this two-year-old diary behind some rubbish.
and like those over-dramatized movies, i had to open it and read all the stuff i wrote last time. like, two years ago. silly little thing i was back then. silly immature thing i am now! and then, being the un-normal way too overly sentimental and emotional human being, i had to write again. and now there's this raging torrent of emotions.
damn i sound weird.
but still.
and now this, coupled with the splitting-of-classes.
everything feels oddly surreal now. and thinking back on the past week in school, i can't convince myself that those stuff really happened. and i guess that tomorrow has been somewhat inevitable, ever since i first laid hands on my posting result to anglican high.
it's been only a year, but yet i certainly feel more for this seperation that those of primary school. i mean, what the heck, i was glad to leave poi ching at the end of six years. but now it's only a splitting of classes, and yeah, of couse we'd be able to see each other during breaks, along the corridor, and stuff, but it'd never be the same. i mean, the "hey, fellow classmate!" feeling would be gone. lost. hey, we'd never be able to do the 1A-cheer together as a class. and damn, i'll miss those birthday-whiteboard-drawing-birthdaysong-singing-ceremonies.
but i guess it's all for the greater good in the long run. i guess that splitting earlier, when our bonds, though already strong, wouldn't be as strong as that of two years, is better. so i suppose that has to make it easier to bear. but heck, i can't imagine anything worse. yes, breakups included.
we've been through lots together. and all the frienships fostered together throughout the year. the mutal bonds forged together. together. everything together.
heck, i used to love this time of year. i mean, holidays. and how ironic that now i'm lamenting the end of the school year.
it takes truckloads of time spent together and happy memories to be able to feel like that. i don't think that most teachers would be able to understand this. as a principal, is it not dr boon's job to ensure that we are happy and content, in addition to our acedemic aspects? and i don't see how this splitting would make us happier. we have our own feelings to consider. we're thirteen, and certainly have more developed emotions than those of a primary school kid. and also, are we not a SAP school? so we not vaule chinese as much as we do english? then why, tell me, do we have to split according to english? and in by doing so, are we not showing that we're not supportive of the SAP programme? surely a fairer option would be to use the overall marks instead. all subjects are equally important, it's plain unfair to just split by english marks alone. if we have to be split by english, those weaker in english would probably find it much much harder to improve, if their classmates are like them. i don't understand the way adults think, and certainly not their conclusions and decisions.
this year has been more than memorable.
and well, all those pictures and past entries are just too nostalgic. i wonder if i've used the word 'nostalgic' correctly here. how typical of an anglican high student to worry about vocabulary in times like this.
i guess being in anglican high for a year has already taken it's toll on me. to some primary school mates, my typing in near-perfect english is considered nerdy. i wonder if it's the correct word, again. and to those who've seen me in uniform, they comment on the length of my skirt. i suppose that in their eyes, i'm already this angelic goody-two-shoes mommy's/daddy's-little-girl. but i don't really mind this, since well, their idea of acceptable skirt length is like, thirty centimeters above knee level, so nevermind. and anyway, i'm not ostracized(spelling mistake?) because of this. but somehow or the other i'd sometimes feel left out of their weird love games.
and well, i really really don't want this to happen to oneA.
this is class-ly love here. well. i guess the most i can do now is to just just just make the most.
you have my word that i'll really try my very very best to make every last second count. until the very last milisecond. [:
i'll miss you all next year.
We close our eyes
we close our eyes and the world
has turned around again
we close our eyes and dream
another year has come and gone
when everybody is running in the big race
and having a good time
we might've cast a shadow
who am I?
I looked, how thin the face last night
I saw him in a mirror and he simply smiled
he told me not to worry
he told me just to take my time
we close our eyes and the world
has turned around again
we close our eyes and dream
another year has come and gone
we close our eyes and the world
has turned around again
we close our eyes and dream
and if you come to me
and if you touch my hand
I might just slip away
I might just disappear
who am I?
and if you think I'm worth it
and if you think it's not too late
we might start falling
if we dont try too hard
we might start falling in love
we close our eyes and the world
has turned around again
we close our eyes and dream
another year has come and gone
we close our eyes and the world
has turned around again
we close our eyes and dream
we're on the healing path
we're on a roller coaster ride
that could never turn back
and if you love me
and if you really try to make the seconds count
then we could close our eyes
close our eyes
and the world has turned around again
close our eyes
another year has come and gone
we close our eyes and the world
has turned around again
we close our eyes and dream
another year has come and gone
we close our eyes and the world
has turned around again
we close our eyes and dream
close our eyes and the world
has turned around again
hey, i'm feeling better! :D