tuesday, at pasir ris beach.


meh.
today was ._.
got high somewhere i think (can't rmb)

history + science back today D:
so currently:


felt strangely detatched when cai lao shi was distributing the chinese paper._.
didn't feel anything when i saw those dismal numbers.
like,
oh, 45. oh.
while everyone else was moaning and sorts.
is this what happens when you totally give up on sth? D:

it was a good strategy on my part to give up on chinese & totally focus on history, +congradulates self+

close to strangled those unlucky enough to be located anywhere within a reachable distance while getting the science & history paper back, though.

science was screwed, thanks to the disproportionate amount of light questions._.
i hateloathedislikeabhordetestexecrateabominate light, damnit.
could have done much better.
someone slap me :/

romeo & juliet was amusing ._.

didn't practise the organ much during the exam period.
hence i got upbraided during the lesson.
i should go ram myself against a wall.
i disappoint myself.
exam's coming in less than a month's bloody time.
screw, even the teacher says that i'll fail sight reading & impro if i don't double the time i spend on practising.

more than disappoint myself.
why can't i be one of those effortless child (or teenage whatever) musical prodigies slash really good at studies slash really nice kind friendly caring outgoing person i want to be? ):

don't you appreciate what i've done?

all i hoped for was a word of praise - but i came to none.

so now i doubt my efforts:

the only thing that kept me moving was your pleasure and
satisfaction i visualised.

i must have been too foolishly naive.

Liying, liying, what's the matter with you?

right, whatever.
gna drown my sorrows in, uh, food.
back comes the 1kg i lost during the exam period :/

handover tmr, zomg. ...